Recently I was sent this indirectly by a close friend...

Here's a question for ya, and if you have the answer, please email me: how are you supposed to take it when you find out from the internet that your best friend of 13 years is gay? (and they haven't taken the time to tell you in person?) Personally, I'm a bit offended, but not in a judgmental way because I would rather someone be comfortable with themselves than keep something bottled up and slowly destroy them -- rather, I'm offended because we've been friends for so long and I had to find out this way.

          I can understand you being a surprised.  Trust me, I wanted to say something a long time ago.  Not just to you, but to everyone, at least then I could have had a healthier love life.  However, don’t paint yourself as the victim in this…if anyone can take that label, it is me.  Picture a world where a majority of the people find your relationships offensive.  A society that in effect has reinstated Jim Crow laws, lowering you to the social level that black people occupied just 40 years ago.   Imagine spending a childhood and adolescence pretending to be something you are not for fear you will ridiculed for no other reason than who you love.  Envision a young man, too afraid to tell his family how he feels for fear he will be cutoff, disowned and unloved by all the people he cares for. 

That is just a glimpse into the psyche of many gay teens.  So you ask why I didn’t tell you sooner?  I was afraid you might view the lifestyle as vile and offensive.  I was terrified others would find out and tease and pick on me until there was nothing but a shell of the person you knew.  There were many nights I was in tears because the thought of losing the love of the people I had loved terrified me.  That’s why I didn’t tell you or anyone sooner. 

I don’t think it is right for anyone to have to go through that trouble and heartache.  I finally realized that I don’t have anything wrong with me, it isn’t a “choice” I made, homosexuality is part of my design.  Who would want to choose this path over the easy, mainstream, and acceptable one?  All I ask is that you remember, I am the same person I was before you found out, nothing about me has changed, just your perception of me…